“You have to love yourself because no amount of love from others is enough to fill the yearning that your soul requires from you.” — Dodinsky
Inviting love into our being allows us to experience our sacred connection to others and to humanity as a whole. When we are born, we temporarily forget our divine magnificence; consequently, we spend much of our lives trying to remember who we are. Before we uncover that remembrance, we spend much of our time and energy seeking out the inner connection which we crave on a soul level without even really understanding why. In other words, even before we remember what love really is, and where it comes from, we spiritually yearn to love and be loved.
In our state of “love blindness,” we tend to look for love in all the wrong places. Our society, which is rampant with lovelessness, not only reinforces our flawed views of love but encourages us to keep searching for it in the most unhealthy ways. We expect our Prince or Princess Charming to ride up on a white horse and make us feel secure, happy, and whole. We want to find our soul mate and have a “cosmic” connection, but rarely do we do the inner spiritual work required to attract and cultivate such a soul-hearted relationship—and when the object of our affection fails to live up to our fantasy, we feel betrayed and deprived. We think we have to seek or earn love; however, we cannot acquire something that already exists within us.
Once we acknowledge love as our divine essence, we can more readily invite in love and connection through opening our hearts to the essence of others. And the more we emanate the energy from our hearts, the more love is generated and returned to us.
By inviting in love and connecting with someone on a soul level, we spiritually grow. The relationship becomes a portal to our own and the other person’s transformation into more loving and fulfilled human beings. It is why we are here.
In every relationship, in every moment, we demonstrate love or fear. The more we express love toward others, the more we see that we are lovable, and discover how to love more intimately. Being lovingly connected to others brings out the best in us, and allows us to emotionally and spiritually grow as individuals.
A deep, loving connection with another person offsets our isolation since it brings both hearts into vibrational coherence as one energy source that interconnects with all living beings. It affirms that we are not alone in the world, that although we may feel physically separated we are energetically connected through our hearts and souls. Through this connection of universal love, we find that we are never truly alone.
Here are a few ways to invite in love and connection with others:
- Evaluate your current relationships to see if they are appropriate for your spiritual development at this time in your life. What unresolved issues are your relationships showing you about yourself? Do your relationships support you in your spiritual growth? Are they assisting you in creating the life you desire?
- Begin a new relationship (whether it be a romance, friendship, or otherwise) that is meaningful, and let go of any that no longer support your personal transformation. Let yourself be vulnerable with this person so you can emotionally and spiritually grow.
- Create an energetic support team consisting of people who love, support, listen to, and encourage you to embrace your vulnerabilities without judging, enabling, or commiserating. Evaluate your relationships to see who’s on your energetic support team by asking yourself, “Who unconditionally supports me to spiritually grow and reach my fullest potential? Who is trustworthy, has integrity, and is impeccable with their word? Who accepts me for who I am, but gives loving feedback when asked?
- Open your heart and visualize your soul-hearted partners. To reinforce your image, share it with your energetic support team or write about it, refining the vision as you gain more information.
- Let every thought resonate with an intention of love to support yourself and others without conditions or expectations. Catch and release any negative thoughts as soon as you become aware of them, and replace them with positive ones, even if you are angry or upset.
Happy, healthy, and connected relationships are founded in physical, emotional, and spiritual connection. We have entered an “age of love” where love and connection have now become the foundation on which we commit to a relationship. In truth, we are soul-wired to bond because we need love and connection not only to survive, but to thrive. Love and connection support our physical existence and enhance our spiritual growth.
Thank you, Debra. Your post brings me to …LOVE. Love for myself, and in everything I do. What a marvelous way to start the day! Bless you, Reba
You’ve started my day in love with your beautiful being Reba. much love
The landscape of my imagination is captivating, and it’s where I spend most of my time, but the landscape of my heart is where the real magic takes place. Thanks for this sweet reminder, Debra. I’m making it my goal to nurture my most important relationships today!
Your words are so magical Bryna…thank you for sharing your beautiful heart with me! Yes go nurture your beautiful being today and everyday! Much love
I started reading this article with the question forefront in my mind… what about loving ourselves!? I was glad to see that was the first thing that you addressed. I need a lot of work on self-love but you have great ideas for moving on and loving other people. Thank you.
For me Sabra self-love is always in the forefront and the foundation of the love energy we radiate into the world to invite in love and connection. Much love
You know I’m crazy about you and enjoy your posts… but “catch and release”? That one’s going to stay with me for a long time. It made me think about fishing… Can’t wait to take the next squiggly, little negative thoughts off the hook and throw them back! Perfect visual.
And you know I’m a fan of yours Andrea too! The fishing metaphor is exactly how I see this love practice in my life..seeing the image of these wiggly thoughts being thrown back into the water for cleansing! Much love dear heart!
Huh. You made me look up “commiserate.” I stopped at that word. I was yes, okay, no judging, no enabling, but I like commiserating. Feels like love to me. Then I looked it up. Means “express or feel sympathy or pity; sympathize.” I still think that one’s okay with me. When it’s absent judging and enabling, it is.
I love the “catch and release” idea too. I’m getting better at hearing those negative thoughts as they arise. For me the image is also about release, like I softly bat them away to open space for love and more love.
Beautiful, thank you!
Thank you Sue for your insightful comment…now you got me thinking about commiserating. I like expressing empathy more than sympathy which I feel keeps us stuck in the “misserating” or misery. But as you said when it’s absent judging or enabling then it’s Ok. Love the image of softly batting negative thoughts away. Much love
Love your suggestions here Debra! From love we are and to love we shall return. I feel ignited from within after reading this. thank you!
xoxo,
Z~
Thank you Zeenat and yes From love we are and to love we shall return! Beautiful words…much love
“All we need is love.” No truer words were spoken. As I’m going through many life changes right now, I find myself asking quite often “What would love do here?” It’s been tremendously helpful to invite love into my relationships. Love the article Debra. Thanks.
Great question to ask oneself Josee and I find myself asking this question: What would love do? a lot lately. Much love
Beautiful post. Thank you, Debra. It’s a good reminder that we’re all here to love and be loved.
Thank you Lea…for me that is our soul (sole) purpose for being here! Much love
Yes the more we say yes to the love within us the more we create ripples of change in the world, one heart at a time xxoo
Yes to love and creating ripples of change in the world with you Suzie Much love <3
Debra, I love your specific, actionable steps to help us find genuine love in our relationships. Having an “energetic support team” is brilliant! Knowing what we want, visualizing it & then bringing it forth (sometimes with the help of our tribe) is key. Thank you. xo
Another great post, Debra! I think one of the most transformational changes one can make is to evaluate personal relationships and release those which are toxic. I’m so glad that was #1 on your list! <3
Your messages deeply resonate with me Debra, the right connections are so essential for our growth and well being.
What I do, and recommend my clients to do, is to make sure they’re feeling good when they’re looking/planning to start a new relationship. Be it romantic, business oriented or just friendship, the nature of the relationship revolves around the vibe of the people involved. If you feel you are in a bad vibe, you are, very likely, going to attract people feeling the same way. But if you feel a good vibe in you, feel content and happy, you will attract people feeling the same way. You choose. Thank you for sharing and congratulations on your book Debra! 😉