Maintaining unhealthy relationships drains our life force, while letting go of them empowers us to create space for new relationships that enhance our spiritual growth. Blessing and releasing unhealthy relationships with unconditional love and integrity can teach us how to forgive our past, heal ourselves, and generate positive energy to progress on our spiritual path. It’s important to break clean from an unhealthy relationship and stop investing energy in it. If we don’t, we often continue to desperately keep it alive while knowing in our hearts that our spirit has already left it, causing us to feel dead inside.
In preparing to bless and release an unhealthy relationship, remember that the ending of the relationship cannot be blamed on one partner. The old adage “It takes two to tango” holds true because each person is accountable for the relationship regardless of who is dissolving it. When both people take full responsibility for every choice in their lives, including being in the relationship in the first place, then there are no victims, and peaceful coexistence is possible.
When both people take responsibility for co-creating and letting go of their relationship, they lovingly acknowledge the purpose the relationship has served and their experiences in it. Here is an example of such an acknowledgment in the form of a letter I wrote to an ex-partner expressing appreciation and love: “My dear one, let us always remember the purpose that brought us together and that we entered into our relationship with meaningful intention, support, and love. Let us now part in love, respect, and appreciation for each other. I release our relationship for my own spiritual transformation and hold you in the sacredness of my heart forever. Together, let’s declare a new positive intention to separate well in love, care, and mutual understanding.”
The following are guidelines for letting go of an unhealthy relationship with unconditional love, respect, and integrity.
- Give yourself permission to let go of the relationship without experiencing guilt, fear, shame, or hopelessness. Remember, the other person has the power of choice as well, even when it looks like they’re being left or abandoned. In releasing the relationship with unconditional love, you give the other person permission to love and leave as well.
- Trust yourself, listen to your heart, and use your expanded conscious awareness to guide you. Reflect on the purposes for which the relationship was co-created and how the needs of the partners may have changed. Consider the fact that some relationships can remain intact as partners grow, while others need to be dissolved because the partners must follow their own hearts.
- Choose a safe and neutral place to communicate your desire to end the relationship as clearly and honestly as possible. Be prepared for angry or hurt reactions from the other person. Take responsibility for your choices and refrain from blaming or judging the other person so you don’t fall into the pattern of right versus wrong. Treat yourself and the other person with utmost care and kindness as you work to dissolve the relationship so the experience of it will serve you in a beneficial way as you initiate future relationships in your life.
- Write a letter or e-mail, when a face-to-face conversation with the other person might result in too much negativity. Express your point of view with “I” statements. Then, when you feel ready to talk in person, speak in a loving tone of voice, allow uninterrupted time for each of you to express your views, and immediately stop any conversation that leads to bickering or blaming.
- Allow sufficient time for each person’s adjustment. Do not presume that the other person is as prepared as you are mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. Decide on a reasonable time line for resolving business, such as sorting personal belongings or joint properties, negotiating living space, rearranging finances, and untangling family ties and mutual friendships.
- Use the mantra, “Bless and Release” to clear your body and mind so you can let go and open to new possibilities. One way to do this is to invoke unconditional love and to visualize enveloping the other person with love and light energy. Acknowledge love for yourself, the other person, and the spiritual connection shared, and honor the purpose the relationship has served while releasing the physical bonds of the relationship. You can use the phrase. Such an energetic completion allows you to appreciate the other person and simultaneously sustain a relationship.
- A tool that can help release your pain is a self-designed ritual of release. Rituals of release include making a picture scrapbook, using old photos in a collage about the past, journaling, or simply lighting a candle.
Blessing and releasing unhealthy relationships unleashes a flow of love energy through the heart. This is energy will attract in and manifest soul-hearted relationships in the future.
Great suggestions Debra, the people around us affect us in so many ways and it is important to surround ourselves with people that lift us up. When I am unable to break up with a negative person I do limit how I will interact with them. For example, my husband is very positive and supportive but when it comes to my business it just triggers all his fears and he has always been unsupportive and discouraging, so I just don’t share that part of my life with him and he is not allowed to give me unhelpful suggestions 🙂 Instead I actively seek people who are supportive and encouraging in my biz circles.
Rachel I so get this. My husband has similar fears and I’ve had to do the same which is to find my support team for my business. Trust is key here. Blessings xo
I need This at the moment. Awesome post Debra. Thank You so much ❤️
Thank you Theresia Happy to assist with love xo
love, love, love this Debra! It’s so right on! And I love following you!
Thank you Ruthie and I love following you as well! Blessings xo
Thank you for this post. It reinforced something I recently went through. My mom passed away 10 years ago this coming weekend. I recently started counseling and at my last visit my counselor led me through a meditation where I released my mom and it had a lot of the elements that you mentioned. I was surprised at how relaxed and calm I felt afterwords. Not at all panicky or anxious so I believe that this works for people that have died as well as people that are still physically with us in the world.
So happy to hear this was helpful Sabra. Having lost my mom early in my life, these tools worked with releasing someone whose not physically here too especially using a ritual of release. Blessings xo
Great article Debra. We all play a part in each relationship – taking responsibility is key. We create our own reality for growth and expansion here on earth. Soul contracts play into our relationships as well. As I say in my book…..Patience Young Jedi’s of Love!
So true that soul contracts play a part and when we can embrace that we chose each other for whatever purpose and can honor that then love comes forward. Love your phrase! Blessings xo
Such a great reminder, Deb, “Choose a safe and neutral place to communicate your desire to end the relationship as clearly and honestly as possible.” I learned this one the HARD and PAINFUL way. Neutrality and finding a “Switzerland’ that you both can agree on is soooo important. The question is, how to find this sacred space in cyberland….hmmmm.
I love “finding a Switzerland.” It is so important for both people to feel safe and create sacred space. I will look into creating a safe space I cyber land…private chat perhaps? Blessings xo
Isn’t that funny? When I first read the title I thought you means releasing my relationship with love itself. Phew. Glad I was wrong!
About this one: “Write a letter or e-mail, when a face-to-face conversation with the other person might result in too much negativity.” I like to write it, then print it and either snail-mail it to myself, or sleep on it (literally, under the pillow) for a couple of days. Then re-read it, then edit if necessary to soften the tone, and then send it. And! Sometimes the two days is enough time to realize that all those words don’t necessarily need to be sent after all.
Powerful magic.
Thank you Sue for your insightful comment. Great way to truly pause and then be able to respond in love! Blessings xo
Wonderful points to keep in mind Debra. “Give yourself permission to let go of the relationship without experiencing guilt, fear, shame, or hopelessness.” is a big one. More people need to know this and stop succumbing into the control of others because of fear, guilt, shame or hopelessness.
Thank you for comment Claudia and giving yourself permission was a big one for me going through this process. Not easy but can be done with ease. Blessings
Beautiful post. The more I forgive and release, the lighter and more peaceful my life becomes.
So absolutely true Barb <3 Blessings xo
Bless and release indeed. Often it takes awhile to get to the point where you can release the toxic relationship. Sometimes it happens in steps. And what works one day may not work the next until all remnants of the relationship are released. I know in my case it took about 3 years to completely release my relationship with my ex.
xxoo
Thank you Peggy for your inspiring comment as yes for some most relationships we release in layers or steps as you mentioned. Love is the key here! Blessings
This is wonderful information I could have used when my relationship with my former husband was coming to an end, 23 years ago now. We were living in the same house and it was incredibly tense as he didn’t want to go and didn’t understand why. Each relationship we are in could be part of a soul contract, and once I fully understood this, it became easier to release and let go. I have definitely been a person who has held on too long, always believing things would change. I appreciate each of the tips you’ve shared, Debra and see how each plays its own important part in the process.
Thank you Beverley for your insightful comment. I too, lived with my ex-husband for 6 months in the same house while we sorting out the details. These tips worked for me then and still do. Blessings