Freeing ourselves from fear takes more than deep breaths and positive mantras; it requires an absolute trust in ourselves and a courage of heart. Letting go of fear is one, if not the most important, yet most difficult spiritual principles to practice in our lives. Ultimately, letting go of fear is about the completion of life cycles and thus, signals a beginning more than an end. This begins with a conscious choice in every moment to shift from our fear into trust.
I recently overcame a fear of suffocation stemming from a deeply seated early childhood trauma while on vacation in Fiji. Although the fear of not being able to breath originated years earlier, it’s grip has kept me from feeling safe breathing under water or in enclosed spaces. In the past, this fear has prevented me from attempting scuba diving-an experience I have always wanted to try. I knew it was time to let go of this fear and the trauma that had created it.
First, freeing ourselves from fear requires trusting that we will cocreate the situations, supports and resources that we need in our lives. When I arrived at the dive shop on one of the small islands of Fiji, I was informed that the regular diving instructor, Rae was on vacation and that Api, a loving, gentle, heart-centered Fijian would be leading me through the course. And, that my husband Doug could be my diving buddy and take the course along with me. It is imperative that we surround ourselves with loving, heart-centered people and environments that support us releasing fear in a healthy and positive way.
Next, we must let go of our negative over-thinking which triggers fear. Practicing my breathing skills in the pool, I kept eye contact with Doug or Api instead of thinking about breathing under water. Doug or Api’s eyes became my focal point. Yet, on the second open dive, I let my brain/fear override my heart/trust in myself. As we boated out to the dive site, all I could think about were the skills I had to demonstrate once I reached the ocean bottom. Once I descended down under the water, I looked up at the surface, thought about how far down I was and if my regulator fell out of my mouth or my mask filled up with water I wouldn’t be able to breathe. Panic set in and I was signaling Api to bring me up to the surface. He took me back up steady and slowly and when we surfaced he calmly asked me to look at him and breathe. At that point, I was ready to get back on the boat and call it a day, but as I relaxed he convinced me go back down. Trusting myself and the support I had created for this moment, I slowly descended to thirty feet and focused on the marine life which took me out my head and into my heart .
Finally, we must acknowledge fear when it surfaces so that we can clear the thoughts that trigger it. It’s important that we replace them with positive mantras or affirmations. We have to trust moment by moment which brings us into a state of expanded awareness. Preparing myself for the next day of diving, I blessed myself, my support system and released fearful thoughts through talking, journaling and walking. I held myself in a loving embrace giving myself permission to complete the course at my pace and using such affirmations as “Trust yourself and move through it” and “You can handle this.” And, I visualized myself out in front of the experience, having already completed it.
Most of all, freeing ourselves from fear as requires trust in ourselves and our connection to source for it to become an essential element in our lives such as the air we breathe. Absolute trust is my breath and what moved me beyond my fear. The next day, on the third open dive, I was ready to go. My plan was to perform the breathing skills as soon as we descended to the ocean floor. Trusting myself, my plan worked and my confidence came in strong. It was strong enough to finish the last open dive, the course and the day with the most challenging skill of all-taking off my mask completely under water and putting it back on again.
Let go of fear into trust. Letting go and trust move hand in hand as one supports the other. Absolute trust in yourself is your safety net, however, this safety net isn’t a false ground that you fall back on in familiar comfort. Rather it’s a deep connection to a divine source whatever that happens to be for you and then accessing this flow of energy through your heart.
