Courage comes from the Latin word cor, which means “heart.” Courage sources deep within our hearts as self-acceptance and compassion. It encourages us to engage in every life situation no matter how scary as an opportunity for spiritual transformation.
To be courageous is to lead with your heart, and reveal your truth―your inner thoughts, feelings, and experiences―honestly and openly. It dares you to fully express who you are as love.
When you express yourself as love, you venture into the unknown territory of your own being. Being courageous doesn’t necessarily mean performing feats of external bravery and strength, but rather acknowledging your internal fears, hurts, and imperfections, and boldly acting in the face of them. Thus, trusting yourself to let go and embrace your vulnerabilities is one of the most courageous choices you can make.
When I received the edited draft of my first book, Soul-Hearted Partnership: Creating the Ultimate Experience of Love, Passion, and Intimacy, I was ecstatic. It had taken me ten years to summon the courage to share my writing with an editor, and I was eagerly anticipating the results. However, as I scanned the cover letter, I felt my stomach lurch and my heart sink. Even though there was both positive and corrective feedback, I zeroed in on the corrective feedback, which I immediately perceived as negative.
The ricochet of shameful thoughts began: “Who do you think you are, trying to write a book? You have nothing to share that people want to read. You’re not a writer, so give up now.” Feeling disappointed in myself, I wanted to throw the marked-up pages in the fireplace and be done with it. But before making an impulsive choice that I might ultimately regret, I paused and checked in with myself. Turns out, my strong emotional reaction was a clue that my vulnerability had surfaced for me to embrace.
That night, I lay coiled up in a fetal position on the cold tile bathroom floor, feeling like I would never stop crying. I allowed the debilitating thought of “not being good enough” to unravel me. I beseeched God, asking, “Why is this happening to me and why now? I’ve tried so hard to do everything right.” Finally I gave myself permission to fall apart—which felt like falling down the rabbit hole. Then, while in the grip of pain, I tapped into a well of courage deep within me, picked up my journal, and wrote until I had thoroughly exhausted myself and my emotions.
The next morning, I placed the edited draft in the freezer, believing this would take the negative energy from it and give me some healthy distance. During the several days, while my draft lay out of sight in the frozen Green Giant tundra, I shared my vulnerability with my partner until I felt the weight lift from my heart. I needed to recognize my experiences as pathways to personal transformation, see that each one could show me how to trust myself and my connection to a divine source, and remember that I would benefit no matter how dire and uncomfortable the situation seemed at the time.
Gradually, I started making the suggested corrections to the draft while letting go and embracing any vulnerability that surfaced. As I shared this experience with my editor, a supportive member of my energetic team, she lovingly said, “I think the world of you, and I’m pleased that you’ve uncovered the value inherent in cryogenics.”
What I ultimately gleaned from this experience was that we can’t think or feel our way into being courageous. Trusting ourselves and letting go is the ultimate vulnerability, and also the most powerful and inspired action.
To discover our soul potential, we have to trust ourselves and courageously excavate all that inhibits our full self-expression. We must give ourselves permission to make mistakes, experience disappointments, acknowledge our failures, and create messes. As Anne Lamott writes in Bird by Bird, “Perfectionism is a mean, frozen form of idealism, while messes are the artist’s true friend. What people somehow forgot to mention when we were children was that we need to make messes in order to find out who we are and why we are here.” Our greatest mistakes, and our biggest messes, are our best teachers. The process of trusting ourselves, letting go of fear and control, and embracing our vulnerabilities may not be neat and tidy—but if we do it enough, it will eventually put us in touch with our authentic selves and the power in the universe that is our birthright.
Trusting ourselves and letting go gives us the freedom to see our vulnerabilities and imperfections in a new light. Instead of feeling ashamed of them, we can courageously embrace them to create new potential for loving ourselves and others. To trust ourselves is to love ourselves even when we feel unlovable, to make loving choices for ourselves even when we feel unworthy, and to open ourselves to love even when we are afraid of being hurt. It permits us to participate fully in life without holding back any part of ourselves.
I don’t know why it always surprises me to learn that other people struggle the way I do, I always think it’s just me even though I know better… That stuff about not being good enough comes in harshly and early. My son has a dance performance at his school tomorrow and he is terrified of making a mistake so much that he does not want to go to school that day. After talking to him about the delights of making mistakes we both danced around the room chanting “it’s good to make mistakes!” I think messes and mistakes should be celebrated to free us of the paralyzed power of perfectionism. Well done Debra and I can’t wait to read your book and support your campaign. Much love xoxo
I love this image of you and your beautiful son dancing around the room chanting. I’m going to do this myself especially when I find myself in these situations! Much love and blessings
Appreciating your courageous wisdom and reflections, Debra, and the words: “…The ricochet of shameful thoughts began: “Who do you think you are, trying to write a book? You have nothing to share that people want to read. You’re not a writer, so give up now.” I too, have these ricochet thoughts as I consider publishing my solo book on 2017. You are appreciated my friend, you are.
I definitely know that fear of putting yourself out there. I’m right here cheering you on as you step into your light and publish your solo book! Much love and blessings
“We can’t think or feel our way into being courageous.” Brilliant. A long time ago, someone very smart told me I didn’t need courage if I wasn’t afraid. It helps me to look at fear as nothing more than information. Thanks for sharing.
I love this Andrea…fear is just information and that takes the energetic charge off of the thought or situation! Much love and blessings
Debra, You have such a gift of sharing your raw emotions and learning on the page. What a powerful and insightful post! Here are a couple of phrases that I really connected with: “To be courageous is to lead with your heart.” and “I needed to recognize my experiences as pathways to personal transformation.” I also loved the fact that you put your edited draft in the freezer 🙂 I remember having similar thoughts and feelings when I got my first few edited chapters. … Thanks for sharing your wisdom.
Thank you Pamela for your love and support. Since my first book and writing the short stories in Inspiration for a Women’s Soul, I have claimed my voice of raw real vulnerability and it has been transformative for me. Much love and blessings
I love this beautiful expression of your courage. I’ve often reminded myself that I cannot think my way to…almost anything of value to my own growth! Thanks for sharing yourself, Debra. I look forward to sharing your book when it arrives, too!
Thank you Laurie! Being courageous and getting unstuck from our patterns always takes inspired action! So excited that you are on my love team! Much love and blessings
Beautiful! Congratulations. This moved me: “we can’t think or feel our way into being courageous. Trusting ourselves and letting go is the ultimate vulnerability, and also the most powerful and inspired action.”
Blessed be.
I’m so glad that I moved you Sue as you always move me with your words of wisdom. Love and blessings…
I understand the fears you are going through Debra, as I am currently going through the same with getting my book completed. “Who wants to hear what I have to say” has been in the forefront of my brain most of the time. I’m so happy for you & can’t wait to share your book when it’s released! p.s. Love the freezer & cryogenics references! 🙂
Putting yourself out there at this level is not for the faint of heart but the courageous of heart! But you got this! Try the freezer when you need to as it really works! Thank you for being love and being on my love team. Love and blessings
Such a wonderful and courageous story. I’m still working on being ok with feeling vulnerable, your story definitely helps me. Thank you Dr Reble. BTW… congratulations on your book!!!
Thank you for your love and support Claudia. It’s taken me all my life to have the courage of heart to share my vulnerability but it has been so transformative! Love and blessings
This is such a beautiful and vulnerable expression of your process Debra and of the courage needed to continue to grow beyond your comfort zone. The line, “Trusting ourselves and letting go is the ultimate vulnerability, and also the most powerful and inspired action,” really resonated with me. I feel each courageous act nurtures our belief in ourselves and increases our trust in ourselves allowing us to continue to express ourselves vulnerably and authentically. Thank you for sharing vulnerably encouraging all of us to do the same, while giving us permission!
Thank you Kelley for your wise words of wisdom…each courageous act does nurture our belief and trust in ourselves. Beautifully said…much love and blessings
Awesome post, Debra. It contains so much wisdom. I feel like I need to read it 3 x over to let it all sink in as I know there is so much value in what you wrote. Thank you!
Thank you for your heartfelt comment Lea. I’m so glad my words are sinking in and creating more wisdom. Much love and blessings
Bravo, Debra, Your writing is just amazing and evocative. It is so true that when we step up in a big way our vulnerabilities come to the fore. I love that you put your ms. in the freezer – it was too hot to handle! Your new book sounds fabulous! xo & blessings, Reba
Thank you beautiful Reba. We are so aligned in our message of love and it’s wonderful knowing that you are with in spreading this much needed message into our world. Much love and blessings