Cultivating self-compassion during the holidays requires precious self-care—that is, nurturing ourselves with the utmost kindness and love, as we would someone we cherish. Such behavior is not self-indulgent but rather essential to enhancing our health, vitality, and our relationships. It increases our energy, brings peace of mind, and restores balance. Even setting aside just five minutes a day to nurture ourselves can help us reduce stress, calm the nervous system, feel renewed, and be more productive.
Often we set aside our own needs while caring for others. Or we do not dedicate sufficient time and energy to self-care, due to the endless to-do lists, obligations, and distractions in our lives. However, disregarding our needs while instead focusing on the needs of others or on activities we consider more important takes a toll on us physically, emotionally, and spiritually. It triggers such mindsets as “I must” or “I should” be doing for someone else instead of making our own needs as important as those of others. Putting off self-care may seem noble and selfless until we become stressed, exhausted, and even sick and lacking the energy to care for anybody, including ourselves—due to illness or compassion fatigue. The heart center is vulnerable to congestion because of the emotional processing that occurs there, especially for highly sensitive people, potentially causing health problems. And showing compassion to others while not to ourselves can result in loss of connection to ourselves as love source.
Many of us who are deeply sensitive are dealing with compassion fatigue which can create feelings of spiritual depression. It is important to reframe these feelings as a time of “deep rest.” Restorative self-care requires performing small acts of kindness toward ourselves, such as taking a few minutes at the beginning and end of every day to meditate, journal, or relax; transforming our daily shower or bath into a ritual to cleanse our energy field after a stressful day; or engaging in activities such as walking, yoga, massage, acupuncture, tai chi, or energy work to release tension, toxicity, and enhance the flow of positive energy. Making a compassion covenant with ourselves by agreeing to practice at least one act of kindness toward ourselves every day can sustain happiness, well-being, and self-compassion while also modeling self-care for those we love. In honoring our need for compassionate self-care, we have more energy to serve others.
Cultivating compassion for ourselves by being kind, nonjudgmental, and nonreactive when we struggle, make a mistake, or feel unworthy supports our health and well-being. The more willing we are to treat ourselves this way, the more likely we will be to behave this way toward others. Such behavior generates a sense of universal love, inner peace, and spiritual attunement with everyone and everything.
- Consciously chose to move through every moment with an open heart, with no expectations and operating as stress free as possible.
- Celebrate each day no matter if the shopping lines are long, the traffic congested, and/or our interactions with people more challenging.
- Practice loving-kindness and non-judgment with yourself.
- Forgive yourself quickly and often.
Let your mantra be to sow seeds of light and love where ever you may go so that you leave it a better place for being there. Shine your light so that others may benefit. Celebrate life, express pure love and sustain the light of your being.
Beautifully written and such a great reminder to take good care of myself. Thank you, Debra 🙂
Thanks Nadia for reading and sharing my post. Blessings dear heart.
This is an excellent article…thank you for the great tips
Thanks Wendy and many blessings at this time of year!
I was painfully reminded to slow down when I broke my arm on Sunday… I have learned so much about self love in the last 3 days it is unbelievable. Really there is no place I can be but right in the moment breathing and leaning into my family.
Wow Mia I’m sending healing energies right now. What a powerful reminder to slow down and give yourself the care you need. Blessings to you and your family and that they care wonderfully for you!
I never considered compassion fatigue but that makes absolute sense! You have a beautiful way of helping others understand why self-care is not only important, but critical!! <3
Thanks Sheila for responding to and sharing my blog post and for your support and care. Thanks for the vote of confidence too! Hugs and blessings
Celebrating each day even if the lines are long…..I love that line. It can be challenging especially when you’re at the end of the line. Debra, this is very helpful and I have several friends who will benefit greatly from the suggestions you’ve offered. Thanks again for this eye opening article.
Thank you Beverly for sharing your heart and responding to my post. I’m blessed that this finds its way into the hands of those who need it most. Hugs and blessings
Your words ring true all year round. So easy to forget and so critical to remember! Thanks Debra.
Thanks Laurie for your loving support and for taking the time to read and respond. Hugs and blessings
This was very timely for me, Debra. I always put such high expectations on myself and the whole “holiday” season. I often set those standards way too high and let myself down when I really just want to enjoy my family and the time. I have made a pact with myself this year to give myself a break and love each beautiful thing and each flawed thing about my holidays. I really appreciate your wisdom!
I love your intent to love each beautiful thing and each flawed thing this holiday season. I have found that the flawed things usually have the most meaning…Thank you for reading and responding to my post. Hugs
Excellent article. Thank you!
Lovely article! Thank you for writing it!
Thank you for reading it Victoria. It’s great to meet you!
Excellent article. Giving of oneself to help others, even when it comes sincerely from the deepest part of our hearts, can lead to feeling burned out. We can not give that which we do not have (Dr, Wayne Dyer), and if we drain ourselves emotionally or financially or physically by giving without refueling our own spirits or taking care of ourselves or doing something special for ourselves, then we will end up with nothing left to give. Taking care of self is the best way to help others.
Yes yes and yes Carmen. Thank you for you insightful comment and for taking the time to read and share. Hugs
Debra what a great reminder to practice self-compassion. Yesterday I felt a bit of panic with Christmas so close and with all the work I have to do this month. There is no time for many of the things I normally do over the holidays. So I shall breathe, celebrate each day with an open loving heart, do my best and take the pressure off myself. You Rock!
Thank you Debra for reminding me to breathe and celebrate even when I look around my home right now and no decorations are up, no presents wrapped or even bought and no cookies baked. There is a calm and simplicity that fills my heart and it wasn’t easy getting to this place. You rock too dear friend. Hugs
Beautiful Debra. I need to interview you for my Podcast – The self-compassionate woman!! Let’s talk.
I would be honored to be interviewed by you. You can reach me at heartpaths@ameritech.net. I have incorporated self-compassion into my life more than any other quality because it was so lacking for so long. Hugs
Debra, what I most love about reading this article is the pleased recognition that I am starting to do this in my life. (Sigh of relief.) Thanks for modeling what we need to be aiming for for personal peace, familial peace, and holidays that are joyful instead of stressful.
Wow what a great validation for you. I never used take time for myself but now I am the “Queen of Self-care and compassion.” Hugs
I love your positive reframing of the overwhelm and exhaustion that happen around the holidays! I especially love how you encourage (and for me, coined) the term “deep rest” — I will be employing it often this holiday season!! xxoo
Thank you Stacey for reading and responding to my blog…the holidays can be especially challenging to keep that balance of rest, care and self-compassion. Hugs and blessings to you
I love this! Thank you for the reminder. I haven’t been doing such a good job with self-care lately and needed the reminder to practice self-compassion.
Thank you Mary for taking the time to read and share my blog. I wrote this piece because I needed to remind myself as well. Hugs
Thanks so much for this reminder of the importance of self-care and self-compassion, because goodness knows, we are no good to anyone else if we can’t be good to, and take care of ourselves.
Julia Kristina, MA RCC
http://juliakristina.com/blog