The primary element in love is our divine presence. When we are truly present with another person, not distracted or guarded, we open a portal of loving energy that facilitates communication and healing. Presence is having the conscious awareness of what’s happening moment to moment without being caught up in your own thoughts. Looking deeply into another person’s eyes, giving them our undivided attention, and listening with an open heart are all elements of being present. Our divine presence, more than any other aspect of love, answers the basic connection question, “Is that person there for me?” It is in this sacred space of presence that intimacy unfolds.
We’ve all encountered people who are not present, and who have difficulty staying focused. We’ve all had the experience of talking with someone who seemed to be somewhere else, making us feel like we weren’t important to them.
To be fully present, we have to show up with our entire being. And when we do, we experience an overwhelming sense of joy and contentment, with no yearning, aching, dissatisfaction, or neediness within us to distract us from what is happening in the now.
When we encounter a person who projects presence, we may sense a surge of electric current moving through us, feel physically and emotionally at ease in their company as if we have known them for ages, and realize that they have struck a deep chord within our hearts.
To have presence with someone, we must avoid making assumptions, which are likely to break the flow of intimacy. Making assumptions and jumping to conclusions―behavioral patterns rooted in insecurity―shift the focus of conversation from the present to the past or future, and leads to defensiveness and blame. Rather than make assumptions, which is a setup for disappointment, it is far more loving to listen without interruption and ask questions to gain clarity.
To be present with someone we must also refrain from creating stories about our circumstances and instead simply share our experiences. When feeling the need to control everyone and everything, it can be tempting to wrap, like a ball of twine, strand after strand of stories about the past, thinking they reflect who we are. However, they only reinforce our fear-based patterns. We can choose to stop such a pattern, however, and shift our focus to the perspective of our soul, seeing ourselves as the magnificent beings we truly are.
Further, to have presence with another person requires paying attention to what’s going on with them rather than being caught up in our own thoughts and feelings. We can do this by meeting people with a loving gaze and seeing beneath the masks they wear and the facades they create to witness their soul. Even if they don’t acknowledge it right away, they will feel listened to and valued.
When we are present, people feel completely seen and heard. We listen well, accept others’ points of view, and don’t force our ideas upon others with arguments or debates. We know putting our energy in resistance is futile, and alternatively focus it on peaceful co-existence.
By blessing whatever space we occupy with our divine presence, we become an emanating field of love to others and our world. “
