Last Tuesday morning I was excited to open my e-mail anticipating further instructions for a women’s empowerment summit I was invited to do and had previously been a part of. I had talked with the host’s virtual assistant just the day before and was looking forward to the interview that we scheduled with her.
But when I read the e-mail, my heart sunk. The note said that my e-mail list size was too small to meet their requirements and for that reason I would no longer be included in the summit. I still struggle with the masculine business model that many in the industry use that puts ‘numbers’ over relationships or wisdom.
Tears filled my eyes and I felt the wind knocked out of me. It wasn’t just the disappointment I felt in the moment…it was the fear of lovelessness and worthlessness that came rushing up right behind it. Wow, I wasn’t expecting these feelings to come to the surface!
Having spent most of the past thirty-five years healing these wounds, it caught me by surprise. But the fear of rejection and exclusion weighed heavy on my heart. It was an old story that I thought I had healed.
When I feel fear, I know it’s time to sit with it and go deeper. Only this time, I knew I was too restless to sit so I walked with it. I also know to reach out to my soul team…so I texted my dear friend and Publisher Linda Joy. I knew that not only would she hold the energetic space for me to share, but she would help me release my fear so I could stay aligned in my truth.
So I took my fear on a walk in the woods with my dog Shiloh. And when my phone rang, it knew it was my Linda. Just hearing her voice of love helped me ground myself and allow my deeper feelings to emerge. For a moment, it felt like déjà vu. We had been here three years before when I first stepped through my fear and began working with her as a client, and later, as my publisher.
Here I was at another transformative crossroads and she was here with me supporting my divine path. As we talked, I began to recognize that these were just old “phantoms” of fear…not my inner truth.
Just as my heart opened in loving compassion, I looked up, paused on the path, and held on to Shiloh’s leash. There in front of me were two young male deer. As our eyes met, I stopped talking to my friend, took a deep breath, and became still. He didn’t stay long until he and his friend raced past me. Then they both stopped and walked slowly in front of me on the trail.
I closed my eyes, took a deep breath, and asked, “Beautiful creature, what’s your message for me?” I know that once I ask a question of the spirit animal (in this case the deer), it’s important to pay attention to everything that happens following the encounter. I heard my inner voice say, “Don’t be afraid, follow your path,” which validated the message I had just received from my conversation with Linda. It was time for me to let go of my fear of worthlessness and step into service as a spiritual leader.
The two bucks continued to lead Shiloh and I on the path through the woods staying close, only a few steps ahead of us. All the while Shiloh never barked or lunged at them. We walked to the end of the trail in silence and our eyes met as I said goodbye.
As soon as I got home, I researched power animals and found this definition by Dr. Steven Farmer: “A power animal is just that an animal spirit guide that will empower you and help you deal with both the spiritual and earthly realm.” The deer power animal shows us a new innocence and freshness of life. We will feel the gentle lure of new adventures. There will be an opportunity to express gentle love that will open new doors for you. To top it all off, I also found that the deer is associated with my astrological sign and happens to be my animal totem.
We always receive what we need to heal, clear our fear, and see our divine truth. I’ve experienced miracles all my life but I’ve learned to notice them all around me not just the big “Aha” ones. For me, this quiet experience was a miracle of divine intervention.
The message in the miracle was to clear my fear and renew my trust in myself and my divine path.
Beautiful moment! Thank you for sharing this. Fear is a tough one especially the fear of inadequacy. Hearing your experience helps all of us. I don’t normally respond to these things but I want you to know I’m here in the shadows feeling grateful for you.
Thank you angie for your loving support and for taking the time to comment.xo
Thank you for sharing Debra! Joyfully holding healing space for you.
My joy Carol! Thank you and many blessings xo
Thanks for sharing your experience Debra. Hugs! xx Rejection is a tough one that we all encounter. I enjoyed reading how you connected with supports, nature and Divine guidance. This is what ultimately heals and restores us. You have a great mentor in Linda Joy. I am sending you love too. xx
Thank you for your love and support Lisa! Love those divine encounters <3
Debra, I’m so pleased for you that you were able to encounter your animal guides in the mortal realm. In Celtic Shamanism the Deer is seen as a creature of importance and magic, that can lead one to the Hollow Hills. The Otherworld.
I have a feeling that your coming journey is going to get a lot more exciting than someone else’s online summit! Travel well.
Thank you Lottie. I love the information you shared and I will travel well. <3
This story is very near and dear to my heart, Debra. Having my own business put me in a position to learn life’s lessons in an emplified way. For me, a lesson that comes up a lot is “there is not enough”. This old belief in lack has me practicing abundance and plenty consciousness in a way I wouldn’t have if I didn’t have my business fears coming up.
Yes that is an old pattern that I’m happy to release too. and yes it wouldn’t be coming up if I was stepping into a bigger space <3
Debra your article speaks to my heart. I had the same experience when invited to a women’s empowerment summit and told my list was too small. After I picked my jaw up off the floor, I moved on. When people have a specific list requirement, it would be best to add this bit of information into the invitation. This would save everyone time and energy. How wonderful your animal totem found you! Dr. Steven Farmer and Doreen Virtue used to live in Laguna Beach when they were married. We spent quite a bit of time with them. Blessings to you Love Goddess! xo
Thank you Debra for your love and support. How lovely that you were able to share time with Steven and Doreen <3
I, too have been in a similar situation. Heck, I was even kicked out of a summit when my free gift did not perform per their idea open rate. My message was far more important that a numbers game which felt much more like a school girl popularity contest. I did not play with that notion as a child, so therefore why would I as a powerful adult. It did make me take a step back, feel am moment of sadness and then move forward with those who I can reach.
Thank you Natasha…it’s about who we are not who we can bring with us. <3
When one door closes, another one opens. Something even better will come your way!
It did Barb on Thursday and I said the very same thing…<3
Appreciating your transparency, storytelling and the releasing your fear! I’ve been there lately so this was perfect timing.
I, too, don’t understand the old model that numbers speak to WHO I AM.
I had a list of 11,000+ names once upon a time after hosting and designing three telesummits in 2011. I didn’t think much of it and let the list lapse. My list now is considerably smaller.
NOW, of course, I wish I hadn’t been so uninformed and casual about it all.
So who am I really? Lore of the 2011 List or Lore of the 2017 List?
All for lessons to be learned, my friend. So happy Linda was there to serve as your lifeline.
Hugs xoxox
Thank you Lore for your kind and supportive words…oh and did I mention that a new summit opportunity came on Thursday and my list wasn’t she wanted, it was my energy! <3
Debra, I could so relate to those moments when the ghost of an old pattern rushes in to fill the void. I love how you worked with this and your sharing of your inner movement. Thank you!
Thank you Laurie for your bright light <3
Beautiful, honest share, and so very appreciated. Thank you, great heart, Debra Reble.
Thank you beautiful heart Reba <3 xo
That’s beautiful, Debra. And doubly beautiful that your eyes were open and you were still enough inside to allow the deer to stand still and hold that space and guide you on your way back to your own heart.
Thank you Sue for sharing the space of divine intervention with me. xo
Miracles all around us! Thank you Debra for sharing so vulnerably, and for listening to your inner truth and following your path, we all benefit!
Yes there are miracles all around us if we just pay attention. Much love xo
Debra I remember you said you were writing a post that was in sync with what i wrote last week just for you.
Wow I know that feeling and i have now I think released it . i know i have one today that i was surprised to be invited to but list wasn’t the issue 🙂 it’s old school internet marketing in my view. Love the message and you ???
We are heart and soul in-sync my friend. Thank you for your love and support xo
Love the deer messengers! I had one this past weekend too. Great stuff. Good energy to you on your path!
Thank you Debra xo
Beautiful, I really felt the emotion in that website too knowing too well what disappointment feels like.
Its true sometimes our path doesn’t make sense, but we need to follow it for our self whatever that will look like. I’m glad the deer came to you to remind you or yourself and your path. Love and blessing. Thank you for your wisdom. 🙂
Beautiful, I really felt the emotion in your blog, knowing too well what disappointment feels like.
Its true sometimes our path doesn’t make sense, but we need to follow it for our self whatever that will look like. I’m glad the deer came to you to remind you or yourself and your path. Love and blessing. Thank you for your wisdom. ?
Thank you Kassi for your love and support xo
Debra, I understand the pain of rejection all too well. But you are such a dear heart, you DO have so much more to offer the world…You spirit shines through in everything you do. I love the lesson in these words, “We always receive what we need to heal, clear our fear, and see our divine truth.”…love that!
Thank you for sharing yourself here. Always a pleasure to read and learn from you.
xoxo, Z~
Thank you Zeenat for your love note and your unending support xo
Wow.. what a beautiful experience. I understand going for a walk with fear. I do the same. I agree what you say… when we are ready to sit with it, feel it fully, we are shown signs from the divine.. and you were so divinely guided to your power animal.. 🙂 very inspiring!
Thank you Jonita for your love and support. xo