As I walked into my favorite Starbucks, contemplating what I wanted to write about this week, I noticed a new sign on the door. It read: “It’s not about you or us. It’s about change. Change for the better.” The sign also informed its customers that the store would be closing for a week for remodeling. Tuning in to myself, the message spoke to me about practicing healthy detachment.
Practicing healthy detachment calls us to trust and accept any situation no matter how painful or difficult as an opportunity for transformation. It means moving with the constant flow of change no matter what it may look like, when it may happen, or where it may take us in our lives. Transformation calls us to step outside of our own little world, realize the bigger picture in front of us, and make a conscious shift in our lives that is always for the better.
We practice healthy detachment by letting go of the daily irritations and disappointments without taking them to heart. Disengage from other people’s toxic patterns, mindsets, and expectations that set you up for constant disenchantment. Begin your day in gratitude, knowing that there are challenges ahead and trusting that you are never given more than you can handle. Open your heart and listen to the inner voice that guides you from stepping into the familiar traps of fear, control, and complacency. Remain flexible with how the day unfolds instead of forcing your expectations upon it. So, when you are caught in a traffic jam, receive an unexpected call from your boss, or hear that the stock market has dropped another hundred points, pause, breathe deeply, and stay fully detached from the outcome of external events. Gently remind yourself that this too shall pass when you stay constant in the flow of positive energy no matter what is unfolding before you.
Later that day, I was in Home Depot choosing a few items to help with remodeling my home, making it more energy efficient. As I was checking out, I heard one store clerk asking another if she was depressed. She replied, “Yes, I am with my home situation.” The other clerk smiled and said, “Animals become extinct when they can’t change their environment. Yet, human beings can change their environment and you can too.” She looked at him, nodded, and then finished my transaction. Our eyes met and I smiled too. The message was crystal clear for both of us. Everything will transform in one way or another and it’s up to us how we handle the changes-with resistance or with complete trust in ourselves. Practicing healthy detachment gives us the personal power we need to go with the flow and remain steady as these changes occur.
This is a great daily practice. Living in the manner of letting go, and opening myself up to the power of acceptance, even very deep things that may have a tendency to govern me, if I choose to let them, by holding on. I have found that anybody would get hung up on some things for good reason. There is pain. Yet, even in the vacant emptiness, and borderline purposeless or sense of irresponsibility that accompanies truly letting go of a love/romance, an ideal, or a trauma, or injustices, etc….
The only way I’ve found to really have a full experience in the now, and ironically really be capable of experiencing love in its fullest warmth direction, and awesomeness is in direct proportion to my ability to let go of it… crazy. But it is the manner with which I must live. And I can then even get more deep into the reality of gratitude for my life