Releasing Resentment

Inviting in a new year gives us a natural place to clear our life of resentments and grievances, and begin with a clean slate. Confronting and clearing such negativity unleashes a flow of positive energy within us that we can direct toward shaping a more fulfilling life. At the beginning of 2015, we may have paused, reflected, and even made new resolutions for the coming year. This is beneficial, yet, for our new intentions to manifest, we have to clear our lives of any resentments that we may be holding toward others and even ourselves.  

      Like a cosmic cow catcher in front of a locomotive, we have the ability to clear the track of any resentments that block the forward movement of our lives. This healthy clearing process is an essential element for our physical, emotional and spiritual transformation. It’s like skin sloughing off dead cells that accumulate and block the growth of new cells. Animals, birds, and plants move through a regenerative clearing process as part of their natural development. Similarly, as we release unresolved business from our past, we open and see ourselves in a more loving, accepting way.   

     One useful tool in clearing body, mind and spirit is the mantra “bless and release.” Every time you notice a toxic thought, grievance or pattern, think or say “bless and release to dissipate any negative energy. Follow this mantra with directing your heart to soften and let go of whatever just surfaced. Wrap the person or situation in pink light to cut the negative energy on it. Another tool is a self-designed ritual of release such as a private prayer ceremony, the burning of old journals or a time capsule that can be buried with items connected to a past toxic relationship.

     A ritual of release that I used to release past resentment toward my mother, who abandoned me when I was young, involved fashioning then burying a miniature time capsule in the form of a coffee that contained items connected to my childhood. Following a year-long search for my mother after her twenty-six year absence—a quest that revealed past experiences of loss and pain—my search ended at the run-down apartment in Pittsburgh where I had last lived with her. I had with me the coffee can containing a photograph that captured my essence at age eight, the year my mother had left me, along with a letter to that little girl expressing my unconditional love for her. I had written: ”Dear Debbie, you are a strong, loving, and courageous woman. You are whole and complete light. This is how you came into the world and this is how you will leave. Remember, you have not been abandoned. I have always been there with you. You have blessed and released your painful past. Now, be free to live and express the light of your being.” These ritual objects acknowledged both who I was then and who I had become.

      I buried the coffee can in the backyard of the apartment building, symbolizing the clearing of unresolved grief relating to my mother. As a result of releasing my resentment and forgiving the past, I began to claim my true being so I could create a more positive and fulfilling life.

     Releasing resentments does not constitute a free for all to blame, attack, or criticize another. Rather, it is a loving exchange of honest and open feedback with ourselves and when necessary with others When given as positive corrective feedback, it keeps us from harboring resentment and supports physical, emotional, and spiritual intimacy.