“Owning our story and loving ourselves through that process is the bravest thing that we will ever do.” Brene Brown
It takes courage to be who we are in the world. Courage comes from the Latin word for “heart.” To be courageous is to be open-hearted, speaking our truth honestly and openly with our whole heart. In other words, sharing our most intimate thoughts, feelings and experiences that comprise our true being.
Loving ourselves enough to reveal our deepest vulnerabilities is the most courageous choice we can make. Unlike bravery which is externally motivated, courage comes from within. It sources deep within our hearts as self-love, acceptance and self-compassion. Courage allows us to acknowledge our hurts, wounds and imperfections without escaping, distracting or resisting them.
For example, I’m practicing courage right now by putting my thoughts, words and experiences out there for you to read. My mind is racing with thoughts such as, “I have nothing to share that they would want to read,” or ” People aren’t going to like what you have to say.” And all of these negative beliefs stem from my deepest vulnerability-that I’m not good enough. So for me to practice courage, I have to take that first baby step and trust being vulnerable by sharing my hurts, imperfections and insecurities.
Here goes…When I received my first edited draft of Soul-Hearted Partnership, I was ecstatic. It had taken ten years for me to take the courageous step to give what I had written to an editor. And, now here was my life’s work in my hands. As I quickly perused the cover letter, my heart sank. Although there was a sampling of both positive and corrective feedback, all I focused in on was what I perceived as negative. Here is a litany of my thoughts that sourced from shame-“What was I thinking that I could write a book?” “Who did I think I was?” and “You’ll never be a writer so give up now.” I was so disappointed and devastated that I wanted to throw the draft in the fireplace and be done with it. I didn’t. This time I allowed myself to be vulnerable and practiced courage.
First I let myself feel vulnerable, hurt and afraid. Then I went to my husband, my trustworthy partner who has earned the right to hear my story, and shared with him my pain of not being good enough. After a good cry, I then responded. I placed the manuscript in the freezer to take the negative energy off of it. I left it right on top of the frozen vegetables for several days. When I was ready to face my vulnerability heart on, I took it out of the deep freeze and began to make the suggested corrections.
Courage takes putting our vulnerability on the line everyday. Practicing courage means sharing our story with someone safe even when we are so ashamed, insecure or hurt that all we want to do is run, fight or hide. We don’t think or feel our way into becoming courageous-we take action. Thus, the courage to be who we are is a life-long practice.
I love how you iced the manuscript until you were ready to tackle the edits 🙂 Bravo for continuing to show up on the page, to be vulnerable and authentic. Your courage is a bright beacon of hope and you give the rest of us permission to do the same <3
xo
Peggy
It’s taken me a lifetime to be vulnerable and now it feels so necessary to be authentic. Thank you dear Peggy
I love the freezer tip, Great image I have. Thank you for being you and sharing yourself and the pain of not being enough- such a challenge for me too. I start back on my book next week and this has spurred me on to step up and tell it as it is as I know it will help so many Love Suzie xx
Thank you Suzie….step up for when you do so do the rest of us! The freezer does work! Blessings dear heart
Ohh what a beautiful, touching post Debra. I’ve been having the exact same fears and self-doubts as I get ready to submit my book proposal. When the assessment came through from the editor, I too focused on the negative. Thank you for sharing. It DOES take tremendous courage to put your name on a book and I’m so glad you’re facing your fears and doing it anyway. You have a powerful voice and the world needs to hear it. Much love xo
Yes it does take tremendous courage to step into our light and put ourselves out there for all to see. Thank you for your light. Namaste and blessings
I so very much love this post!! The icing what you’re not ready to handle is brilliant. And your words about courage are so inspiring. Thank you!
Thank you Dina. You are an inspiration to me! Blessings
I remember having a moment like that, when I thought the constructive critique was devastating. When I went back to it years later, it wasn’t bad at all — in fact, it was positive! We program ourselves to expect bad and that’s what we see — whether true or not. It’s hard to reprogram our thinking, I’m a constant work in progress! But I know how valuable your sharing is to me, and I’m so glad you’ve found the courage to step onto your path! <3
So. true Sheila…when I read her comments now, it’s with a whole different perspective and I’m not taking them to heart. Thank you for your beautiful being and for sharing your own experience. Blessings
Thank you for your sharing! Disappointment can be so hard, and then having our inner critic pipe up makes it even harder! I love how you took care of yourself and your feelings, and took the action step of clearing away the negativity so you could move forward!!
So true Maryellen…we need to be gentle and compassionate with ourselves. Thank you for your bright light in this world.
“Courage allows us to acknowledge our hurts, wounds and imperfections without escaping, distracting or resisting them.” I love this statement: Taking the time to acknowledge and grieve our wounds is where healing comes in, and only then do we have the power to go forward with strong, healthy energy to what comes next because we are no longer carrying around the burden of the negative energy and pain. <3
Thank you Kathleen for your insightful comment. I so agree that we need to take the time to acknowledge our hurts and that is where healing comes in…and we bring our hurts into the light! Blessings dear heart
Such a timely post, my friend. I’m waiting to hear from some of my critique partners and finding it excruciating. Why? Because of the stories I make up in my head. “They hate it and don’t know how to tell me.” “They’re afraid to give feedback because they think I won’t like them anymore.” “Blah, blah, blah… you’re a defective, inadequate person.”
Thanks for the pick-me-up. <3
Isn’t it amazing the dialogue that goes on in our heads…as you read me too! Always happy to be a pick you up Andrea. Keep shining your bright light dear friend <3
Beautiful post Debra! Thanks for being an example of courage by sharing your story and your deepest vulnerabilities. Loved the story of the freezer! 🙂 Thanks for sharing your wisdom with the world!
Thank you Patricia for reading and sharing my post! When we share from our deepest places of the heart, we are courageous and thus able to create our truest desires…Blessings
Debra, I think what you have articulated is what so many of us think and feel at times. “Who am I to write and who would want to read it?” Thank you for this loving reminder to be authentic & proud of who we are. I love the freezer story! 🙂
Thank you Tae for your kind words! Yes the freezer does work!