There is a sacredness in tears. They are not the mark of weakness, but of power. They speak more eloquently than ten thousand tongues. They are messengers of overwhelming grief and unspeakable love–-Washington Irving
Despite the pain it elicits, loss shows us the healing power of love. It teaches us about the delicate balance, intensity, and richness of life and above all, provides the greatest opportunity for transformation. Loss is bittersweet for we cannot experience the pain of loss without first having experienced the joys associated with what has been lost. The heartbreak that wounds us most deeply eventually leads us to greater enlightenment, blessing our lives with a more spiritual depth of life.
Grieving our losses by embracing our vulnerability is the path to healing our fractured self. Share on XLosses we suffer can derive from a wide range of situations such as losing a job, ending a relationship, suffering from an illness, or grieving the loss of a loved one. We experience loss not only through death, but most of all though changing, letting go, and moving on. These losses encompass our unfulfilled dreams, missed opportunities, and most of all the loss of our authentic selves.
Being a human being sets us up for an excessive emotional attachment to loss. Whether real or perceived, we experience loss when we are deprived of or have to let go of something we had and valued, something that we needed, wanted or expected. As we make strong affectional attachments to significant others, we undergo deep emotional distress when we are separated or lose that person. Therefore, the loss of a significant relationship even one with great distress disrupts bonds of love, connection, and security. Such loss produces separation anxiety or distress and these losses are critical to healing feelings of lovelessness for most adults.
Ultimately, we cannot know another’s soul journey so we must acknowledge whatever choices they make are part of their divine path. As hard as it is to understand or grasp, they are fulfilling their soul’s potential even if that choice is death. Therefore we must be grateful for the precious time we have with them even if it’s for a few seconds, months, or years. Regardless of the time we spend together, our love and soul connection with them transcends the physical universe and energetically resides in the eternal space of the soul.
There is no preparation for the life-shattering loss of a loved one for it is an unfathomable pain that penetrates our lives and pierces our hearts. Yet, we can best honor our soul connection with our child or another by transforming our loss into love. We can channel the energy released at our loved one’s death by putting their powerful light to positive use.
Another way to direct this energy is to love those family and friends we cherish and send love out into the world for the betterment of humanity. For example, we can become more kind and compassionate partners, patient and tolerant parents, attentive and supportive friends and co-workers. We can channel our losses into love by healing others as we rid the world of racism, abuse, hatred, and malevolence. Resonating as a field of love, we can become love activists in our love-starved world. Experiencing unconditional love is critical to healing our feelings of lovelessness and releasing our pain. Without full release, such losses create chronic distress, which may manifest in such conditions as depression, anxiety, and physical illness. If left unresolved, these losses will continue to be repeated and recycled through our interactions with others. As Judith Viorst aptly says, “Our childhood and youth are gone and we must pause to mourn our losses before we move on.”
It is critical that we mourn the significant losses in our lives. Without appropriate grieving, we cannot fully release the thoughts, feelings, and images that continue to weigh heavily on our hearts. Remaining stuck in the grieving process leads to a state of unremitting grief which clings to feelings of sorrow, anger, guilt, self-loathing, and depression. We must share and express our pain and give it a sacred space to heal so we can become whole. Leaning into our vulnerable selves allows us to face and experience the other side of loss, which is unconditional love of ourselves.
It is experience of loss, more than any other experience in life that can compel us to step into the space of our vulnerability so we can heal.
Debra, your writing is beautiful and eloquent. I loved this line, “We must share and express our pain and give it a sacred space to heal so we can become whole.” It really is about giving our grief sacred space so that it doesn’t consume us.
xxoo
Peggy
Thank you for your loving acknowledgment. It is about giving our grief the sacred space so we can release our pain. I’m all about the love
Wonderful post Debra and so true about letting go. The healing power of love is so strong and brings peace within xx
The healing power of love is the strongest energy in the universe. So love is always the answer. Thank you for your supportive comment. Blessings
I can deeply connect with your post, the losses in my life really opened up my heart. And I so agree that tears are an incredible way to heal and wash away the grief.
Thank you Rachel for sharing your heartfelt comment. Yes tears do cleanse our hearts and help us release our grief Blessings
Incredibly beautiful writing, Debra! My favorite line is, “Regardless of the time we spend together, our love and soul connection with them transcends the physical universe and energetically resides in the eternal space of the soul.” Knowing that has helped me so much in dealing with the pain of losing my mother almost two years ago. I’m a Dr. Reble fan for sure!
Thank you Sheila for your beautiful heartfelt comment. Been honing my writing and appreciate your sweet acknowledgment. Blessings dear friend
Love this Post Debra!! Beautiful writing!! I love this: “Loss is bittersweet for we cannot experience the pain of loss without first having experienced the joys associated with what has been lost. The heartbreak that wounds us most deeply eventually leads us to greater enlightenment, blessing our lives with a more spiritual depth of life.” This is so true, we have to see the gift in every situation, even when we’re griefing. Thanks for sharing! 🙂
If we feel grief we must have felt love at one time…thanks for this loving reminder Patricia! Blessings
Thanks for your beautiful post Debra!
Here’s to receiving all of the spaciousness we need to heal our precious hearts. Beneath our stories of pain and suffering, we can access wholeness, compassion and deep love.
Yes, here’s to allowing the sacred space to heal our precious hearts. Thank you dear friend for your loving and kind support. Blessings
This: “Without appropriate grieving, we cannot fully release the thoughts, feelings, and images that continue to weigh heavily on our hearts. Remaining stuck in the grieving process leads to a state of unremitting grief which clings to feelings of sorrow, anger, guilt, self-loathing, and depression.” I know. I was stuck in this deepening sad place for a long time. You expressed it perfectly.
Thanks!
Sue
thank you! Auspicious timing! Beautiful expressions, too many for me to quote!
Beautifully written Debra! In a world so conditioned to seek out instant gratification, grief is often denied and suppressed and yet, as you say, it’s so important to take the time to mourn our significant losses as that allows the stuckness to dissolve.
I love this: “Leaning into our vulnerable selves allows us to face and experience the other side of loss, which is unconditional love of ourselves.”
joyful blessings,Tina
I very much needed this beautiful message today. Thank you
So glad that this post touched your heart Stephanie…blessings of light and love coming your way.
Dear Debra,
Love can tolerate, but not spoil and not put wrong to be right. Love is a highly sensitive to be fair to the others and no hurt.
Glad you bring out this topic. Thanks.
Frieda
Having lived through great loss and experiencing grief, this statement resonates with me Debra – “Loss is bittersweet for we cannot experience the pain of loss without first having experienced the joys associated with what has been lost. The heartbreak that wounds us most deeply eventually leads us to greater enlightenment, blessing our lives with a more spiritual depth of life.”
There is a silver lining which leads to blessings we can’t imagine. I know this to be true. Thank you for this beautifully written article. xo
As a hospice volunteer, I see & speak with many family members holding in the grief over the loss of a loved one. Sometimes it’s even 6 months to a year after their passing. I always tell them that it’s okay to grieve; there’s no one they need to be strong for…they need to release their feelings so that they can fully process the loss. Your sentence ” Without appropriate grieving, we cannot fully release the thoughts, feelings, and images that continue to weigh heavily on our hearts” sums that up perfectly. Thank you for such a beautiful post.
Thank you Debra for this beautiful post.
So true, we can’t grieve, if we have not experienced joy and love.
What I learned: To have the ability to take a conflict [ loss] and end it with Love. [Dr.Wayne Dyer}.
For me it is a the end of a love-relationship, understanding this concept is soooo helpful.
Always enjoy and learn from your posts.
thank you Martha for your heartfelt comment…and I love the quote by Dr. Wayne Dyer. Blessings